I’m starting to think we shouldn’t be friends. It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s that I love you too much. All of my life I have been searching for that one friend who would become best friend, and I thought that was you. Three years it’s been and I still feel the same amount of anxiety today as I did on day one. The thing is, it’s not just you, it’s everyone. I fit nowhere. My personality is too off the wall and always misunderstood. Today I asked my husband if I was immature or too goofy and he said, “you act appropriate for the situation” and that if I was “serious all the time life would be boring”.
So when I try to get close to someone they end up rejecting me? Too overbearing, too clingy? No one will tell me for fear of hurting my feelings? I’m not fragile, I’ve dealt with some tough stuff. Just be honest and move on, I don’t have time for people who aren’t real. I want friends who can appreciate my goofiness and not misunderstand my intentions. Or I want me to get a clue that it is me. I don’t know, but for all I’ve been through this one seems to be a real challenge in understanding since I can only turn inward to find the answers. I am searching for answers… just haven’t found any yet.